Although it may seem late, the reality of leaving has finally arrived.
People have been small-talking me about studying abroad for a solid month now, but what’s making it real is that even the people who don’t need to small talk are starting to talk about it. The fact that I am leaving is becoming prevalent enough in other people’s minds that they are bringing it up in conversation, even when there are other things we could be talking about. Like today at work, instead of only talking about the kids, and our plans for tomorrow’s luau, every other teacher made sure to get all the info they could from me about Denmark. While I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness and curiosity, there is a part of me that wants to scream
MAKE IT STOP!
Truthfully, as much as I will miss the company of all my networks of supporters and entertainment here at home, again I find myself looking forward to that plane ride, when everything will fall silent–at least, I will be out of touch with most of the voices I have been hearing. This will free up some space in my brain for my own digestion of my current plate: Copenhagen, the psychology program, my independence…the whole package of thoughts that I have been to preoccupied to process. Up till now, my only thoughts have been those that others put in my head. Excitement, apprehension, enthusiasm, and curiosity float around inside my head, presenting themselves depending on who I’m talking with. This won’t do. I have to think for myself about this experience before I dig in.
Airplane solitude, here I come.